


Window Streams

by Reborn_Rekall



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Dark Past, F/M, Feels, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Late Night Writing, Late at Night, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rain, Stark Tower, Trauma, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28185684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reborn_Rekall/pseuds/Reborn_Rekall
Summary: Some nights are restless...
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 23





	Window Streams

A heavy rainstorm fell over New York, strong and unyielding. The emptiness of the streets contrasted with the lights of the city’s edifices, giving an otherworldly feeling.

The bright agitation hadn’t spared the Stark Tower and watching the rain stream down the windows of the Winter Soldier’s room stirred in him the inner turmoil that always surfaced at night time.

Today it felt like it would spill. Although he lived in a high-rise, there was no avoiding the feeling of sinking six feet under the ground.

Bucky’s eyes started focusing on his dark twisted form reflected on the glass, taking a hard look at what he’d become.

 _Enough of contemplating the rain,_ He thought, sitting on his bed and casting his eyes down. It was too much like everything and everywhere. Like the immortal disgrace that followed him around.

A sharp headache took over as Bucky tried to suppress the memories that made him feel like nothing more than a shell, than a vague draft of a broken man.

But he wasn’t strong enough, not when he could still feel the phantom pain on every inch of his body. Not when the shadows of his room gave enough anonymity to bring his guard down. Not when Tony’s heating system couldn’t keep away the chills Bucky felt as he remembered being buried in snow and stored in ice.

_Maybe I should just let go._

At least that’s what Steve always said he needed. God knows he tried, but he didn’t know what letting go meant. He believed suicide wouldn’t give him an end, and pain was a cage whose key was dropped in acid. How could he move on if he had been broken down and built up with torment?

Hands coming to his face, he felt and finally registered the tears that ran down just like the window streams.

How long did he have to endure this?

Breath shallow and wet fingers trembling, all he could do was cry in silence.

“I can’t take this anymore.” The shaky whisper tossed into the void. He wasn’t expecting to hear a response, much less have someone kneel in front of him.

“Bucky? Buck, what’s going on?” A worried voice giving away the identity of the woman before he could wipe away the wetness that blurred his vision.

“I feel like I’m drowning, Y/N” He sobbed, throwing his arms around her and holding on for dear life. Or whatever was the rest of it.

She somehow always saw through the masks he wore but never pressured him to say anything, her understanding the only thing that could make silence bearable.

They stayed like that for hours. Once Bucky’s breath became steady and he got firmer grip on reality, she led him under the covers. Embrace tightening, Y/N placed a soft kiss on his forehead before lying with him.

“I’m not letting you drown, I promise.” Her words couldn’t wipe away the past but for tonight they were enough to make him like he wasn’t completely alone.


End file.
